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If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
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If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
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If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
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If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
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If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
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If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her
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If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
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If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
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If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
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If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
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If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
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If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
